One can't fix something than has no faults. Poetry is that kind of thing that has no fault, especially when it's free verse. So I won't critique poetry techniques and stuff like that. Your poem is a gentle stream of feeling which flows flawlessly, so I will comment on the emotions that your poems stirred inside my soul.
The first stanza states the theme of the poem and makes it possible for the reader to identify with the feeling you described. I found myself in it.
The second one continues smoothly the pace set in the first one. It express a universal truth: in this world, no matter what you do, you can't expect to get everything without moving a finger. If one wants something, he should work for it. You can't expect openness from others you don't open yourself in return. It's an obvious truth, but I feel I can't stress enough the beauty of it. You managed to did it with your words.
In the third stanza there is a gentle invitation to that openness I mentioned before. The verse "warm yourself by the fire" really has the power to emanate the warmness of a kind soul.
I believe that the last stanza is the most powerful of them all. I admit that at first I was a little bewildered about the antithesis between "laugh" and "cry". Then I understood. Loving somebody, no matter if it's a parent, a lover, a brother, child, friend, etc. means both happiness and sadness and all sorts of contradicting emotions. No matter how much we cry for them it's better than not having them at all.
Your poem is simple but nevertheless beautiful. I believe that a poet knows what he is doing when he manages to stir something into his reader's soul. Congratulations!
Your right, but when I heard "Sometimes" by Skillet, I thought of this as a response. It does remind me a "The Last Night" but I felt more strongly about this.
OH I totally get it now. Like this is being said to the person singing "Sometimes". Okay, that makes SO much sense. And I like it even more now And thanks for putting me on watch and favorite-ing my icons for Whispers In the Dark and Monster.
The first stanza states the theme of the poem and makes it possible for the reader to identify with the feeling you described. I found myself in it.
The second one continues smoothly the pace set in the first one. It express a universal truth: in this world, no matter what you do, you can't expect to get everything without moving a finger. If one wants something, he should work for it. You can't expect openness from others you don't open yourself in return. It's an obvious truth, but I feel I can't stress enough the beauty of it. You managed to did it with your words.
In the third stanza there is a gentle invitation to that openness I mentioned before. The verse "warm yourself by the fire" really has the power to emanate the warmness of a kind soul.
I believe that the last stanza is the most powerful of them all. I admit that at first I was a little bewildered about the antithesis between "laugh" and "cry". Then I understood. Loving somebody, no matter if it's a parent, a lover, a brother, child, friend, etc. means both happiness and sadness and all sorts of contradicting emotions. No matter how much we cry for them it's better than not having them at all.
Your poem is simple but nevertheless beautiful. I believe that a poet knows what he is doing when he manages to stir something into his reader's soul. Congratulations!
Thanks for the fav and comment
And that for me is really awesome, dude.